Sometimes I worry if anyone reads anymore. I work alongside a lot of university students, so I realize their time for reading is filled with mandatory pages of text books. But most of them confess they've never been "a reader." Of course, this is a disappointment to me, who wants to discuss favourite authors, most... Continue Reading →
naming harm, as a healing practice
If you've ever been on a healing journey you'll know what I mean when I say you really have to feel your way along. There are a thousand ways through the maze and I don't even know yet if there's an exit. Last year I ran my first 5k road race. At the end, even... Continue Reading →
rescuing, not re-writing
Do you remember those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books from when you were a kid? I loved reading, probably because we didn't have a TV and it was one of my only forms of entertainment. And I always thought the idea of a story with multiple possible endings would be fun, until I started reading... Continue Reading →
hitting the bottom isn’t lethal
Around 5 years ago, something happened that so triggered my trauma response that, even though I had been actively healing for more than a decade, it threw me into a tailspin that entirely capsized my life. I can say that for 5 years it has taken all my strength and attention and focus to merely... Continue Reading →
instructions for the unwounded
After the battle, the wounding, the harm; Do not expect all will be normal, rosy, decent. We wounded carry within us, invisible bombs, Buried along the roadsides of our souls. When tripped, these explosives make short work of peace; Tearing through gardens we have tended; Ripping apart all our hard work. What you need to... Continue Reading →
i wish
I wish I had known I was only a child A kid, a brat, a youth I wish I had crumbled and fallen Crying, crushed, and helpless Like the lamb I was. I wish I hadn't been able to bear the weighty, invisible globe that thundered upon my shoulders, stretching my muscles, and harshly teaching... Continue Reading →
to one who is worthy
Why am I so allergic to should? To the "tut tut" of onlookers and experts. Could not I, who have so blatantly failed at success, reasonably put to use this sage wisdom of the masses? Could I not benefit from heeding? So what if the words are trite, quick, and obvious? Who cares if these... Continue Reading →
a new kind of spiritual practice
I am convinced that we are funny, fickle creatures. Whenever a restaurant closes, everyone on the internet mourns and comments how much they loved it – how it had the best food ever. They feel safe to wax eloquent about the virtues of the restaurant because it is gone – no one can ever go... Continue Reading →
love first
Every thing I succeed in changing about myself (I would say "improving") Becomes a new reason to disdain others (the most insidious kind of hate) For in muscling my true self into being someone I can admire I confirm the ugly loathing of my first self
sacred vows to my inner self
Innocent and tender, seeking love, affirmation, and connection So desperate for a few scraps of compassion Or a morsel of lovingkindness Her vulnerability hangs on her like a garment She is genuine and true and deeply good Oh, and she is incredibly tenacious How does she summon the courage and strength to approach me again?... Continue Reading →
Something Deeper 